Tension

I knew there was a reason I used to meditate nightly.

A revelation came to me, while releasing the tension in my leg tendons. This is exactly what life consists of, in the realm of ambition. The tension caused by the calf, or hamstring, or quad, the intent to pull in any direction is the source of the pain, in stretching and in life.

The idea that any object at rest will stay at rest, and any object in motion will stay in motion is only a fundamental physical truth. Psychically and spiritually, there is no immobility, there is no total rooted-ness. We are all moving forward, to the side, wandering the maze.

Though I may see only stuck-ness today, there is still a tomorrow coming for me.

But, the idea that, in moving an object at rest, a life at rest, resistance (and suffering) is incurred is something to consider when looking at the psyche.




Out of my perceived stuck-ness, I've tried halfheartedly to yoke ambition and flog it till it brings me to where I think I want to go. But in doing this I only veer, like the person storming their way down a wrong path of the maze.

When I force myself to read this book or that, take this class or that, do this form of training or that, following only the mental goals I set, eventually I hit the cul de sac of "what now" with such force that it even overwhelms the pain of trying. I lay half-conscious, wondering why my life hurts so much. Why does everything seem to stand in my way?

Because my whole self, the parts that I've been ignoring in my quest for mental and physical accomplishment, stand in my way. The immaterial mystery of time and energy has been cast aside for superficial thought.

It is a lack of patience for life-time, life that is always in motion, no matter what direction and what speed, that causes so much tension.



The avoidance of suffering is impossible. It will always come your way at steady intervals. What tension and impatience do is speed up this rate of suffering.

At times, it's a worthwhile endeavor to be forceful and quick, tense and alert. But adopting it as a long-term strategy is the most painful life you could lead. The faster you move through suffering, the deeper and more abundant are your wounds.

Once the barrier to your next life stage has been brought down, it's time to relax and breathe into the moment, realizing that life is still moving; albeit at a slower pace than before. Your life will always be in motion. As long as you remain conscious of that, there is nothing left to fear.



Relax, and suffer patiently.